Changes

What a night. This isn't exactly the Tupac version of the song. I actually went out tonight after feeling pretty bummed all day long. I have felt pretty bad lately. I've been down in the dumps a lot. I have loads of work to do, and I don't have a lot of time to myself. It also really sucks that the time I do have is spent alone. I think a lot of it gets back to the fact that I haven't had time to stay active lately. I really want to get back into excercising regularly. I feel so much better when I make a habit of it. Well, the old phrase "I can change" is one that I have heard a lot in my life. I heard it growing up from various abusive stepdads and all that. I've heard it on tv, and it's infamous for being a statement that a person who really is inable or unwilling to change makes just to keep whoever it is in their lives deceived. Well, I won't go as far as to make some statement like that for myself, but progress has been established. It has been established in my life recently by the academic success to some extent. However, I have wanted it to stretch into other parts of my life. Spiritually, morally, whatever you want to call it, I haven't exactly been the role model of lately. I've been known to swear a lot, drink, and various other things that most people look down on from their lofty perches. I must admit that when I was younger, in high school, I was a very moral person. Now, I was also a bible thumper, and that part of my life I have grown to dislike. Honestly, I feel that if God is your only motivation in life then there is something seriously lacking in your life. I was like that for a time. While I was narrowminded and foolish, I was very moral and good natured. This part of me tended to disappear when I became more aware of who I was in life. I tended to be more outgoing, and thus more prone to stumble around the typical moral roadblocks of life. I've missed that moral David. I wasn't entirely sure that I'd ever see him again. Tonight, though, he visited me. I went to a bar called Buffalo's downtown with some of my MIS friends. I really wasn't in the mood to go to be perfectly honest as I have been in quite the foul mood lately. I did though, and I was drinking (keep your eyes on your own perches people) and having fun with my friends. We went upstairs to dance, and I met this girl named Christina. Now, while I admit that I haven't felt quite appealing to the opposite sex lately, she was drawn to me for some reason. She was the cutest thing that I've seen in a long time. Those who know me recognize my type, and she personified it. Short, dark hair, olive complexion, the whole nine yards - she fit the bill. I was enamoured from the moment she asked me to dance. Yes, she asked me. What made it even more sweet was the fact that Milton, yes "Cock Block" as he is known among my friends, was hitting on her and tried to dance with her. He succeeded, for about five seconds. Literally. Then she came back, and sat next to me. We talked, and then we danced. Eventually, my friends wanted to leave the bar, so I invited her to go with us. During the course of the evening, she told me that she was married. WHAM! There's always a catch to women that like me. I don't know why. I don't know if I'm cursed or what the hell it is about it. It just turns out that way. I didn't choose life to be like that. It just is like that. So, we went to Boo Radley's just the two of us. We eventually wound up walking back to her car, and I had a choice to make. I'm David, and she was my Bethsheba. She was sent by God to tempt me into adultery. I, however, declined. Like I said, he came to visit me. It is not often that I get an opportunity with a woman of such beauty. Honestly, I'm very proud of myself. The decision I made I have been thinking about all evening. I'm very glad to see that somewhere inside me there is something wholesome, honest, and good. I gave my word that I would take care of her to one of her friends before we left Buffalo's, and despite my friends leaving me to go to Katie's apartment, I kept my word. Grandaddy, there is still some of you within me yet. I found it tonight. So, whether it be karma, sowing what I reap, or whatever you want to call it... I'm laying down an example. I'm not challenging the man upstairs, I'm just making an observation. I think, for the first time in a long time, that I am getting ripped from groin to sternum and am being shown what I'm made out of which I like. So, I hope it doesn't go unnoticed. It didn't by me anyway. They don't come very often do they? It's probably why they go unnoticed. Funny thing, changes.